Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
the condom got lost in my hair
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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