shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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