I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm having to shit out rocks
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
