the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So much rum. So many feels.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
