Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
