He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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