Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize