oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
