Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
