im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
