I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
