It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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