she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
