Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
