She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
