Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
