Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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