Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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