the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
