i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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