i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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