In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i will never coherently bang her
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
