I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
