TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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