dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
