You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
