If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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