she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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