I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
