dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
