when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
