Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
