fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
