Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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