In the future we'll all be gay
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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