so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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