butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
