the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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