Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize