New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
