I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
He felt like a one man threesome
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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