Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
