my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
