Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
