We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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