We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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