She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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