garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
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