Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
