Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
