He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I just found puke in my bra..
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
