He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
