Will you blow on my dice?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
