i barfeds in our rink
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
