He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
