All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
wow bdsm is so cute
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
