This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
