I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Such a big mess for such a small penis
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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