is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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