if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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