I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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