I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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