I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
