After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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