Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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