So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
NoShamevember. You game?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
