Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I have fence marks all over my body
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
