just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
