my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
