someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
