I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
