mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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